Yet another chapter that has convicted me on so many different levels. As a person who has always sought the praise of others and relied on positive feedback about my "good" performance, it was a challenge to read the section titled "lie to your child to make him good." The statement on pg. 43 "Our children aren't innately good, and we shouldn't tell them that they are. But they are loved and if they truly believe that, his love will transform them," really summed up the idea that we should be constantly encouraging praise for God's grace, rather than for our goodness. I think as parents a huge challenge to us is modeling this in our own lives. It is so easy to live our lives seeking out "good girl" praises- recognition from our husbands for cleaning the house, praise from other moms for good couponing skills ;), or even telling yourself how much more "put together" your marriage or life is compared to others. Am I alone on this one? How often do we fail to recognize stimulate praise for God's grace in our own lives and instead focus on our own goodness? I was really convicted in realizing that this book has good "ideas" but unless our kiddos see us modeling
So thankful for this statement: "When we have Christian righteousness, God looks upon us and our believing children as being perfectly obedient, no matter how we fail." How awesome is our God that we aren't expected to be perfect. I know this chapter brought me to my knees, thanking God that my relationship with him isn't contingent on my obedience, but on Jesus' obedience at the cross.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
The Bigger Picture
"The law of God, although beneficial and beautiful, cannot advance us on our way to righteousness because we cannot obey it. Although the law demands perfection in only two areas, none of us, no, none of us fully complies."
If only I realized this younger! Legalism served me well for two reasons.. at least for awhile. I am somewhat a perfectionist and a people pleaser, so growing up being a "rule follower" was easy! I had a good heart and loved the Lord, but to me if I just followed the "law" perfectly, my life would be perfect. I felt like life was an equation...(if I follow the Bible perfectly) I would be somehow in control and I loved control. It made me feel safe.
The sad part of that is I felt if I did wrong that I was condemned by God and that his love could be conditional. Also, it is kind of hard to need a Savior if you feel you could do things perfectly and be in control.
The law is important and has it's place...obviously we all want our children to have morals and values and the law is there to help us and protect us from harm. Obeying the law isn't God being mean and there to torture us...it is there to guide us and to protect us. But that is only part of the story. Grace is huge and I can't wait to implement that part with my son. The part where we aren't perfect, and don't need to be perfect. The part where we are loved unconditionally and have a Savior who we get our strength from. The part where life isn't ever going to be perfect but he have someone who is in control and whose story IS perfect and we are a part of his love and plan. The Lord helps us in our weak areas and helps us obey the law, and at the same time he showers us with grace.
Love it!
If only I realized this younger! Legalism served me well for two reasons.. at least for awhile. I am somewhat a perfectionist and a people pleaser, so growing up being a "rule follower" was easy! I had a good heart and loved the Lord, but to me if I just followed the "law" perfectly, my life would be perfect. I felt like life was an equation...(if I follow the Bible perfectly) I would be somehow in control and I loved control. It made me feel safe.
The sad part of that is I felt if I did wrong that I was condemned by God and that his love could be conditional. Also, it is kind of hard to need a Savior if you feel you could do things perfectly and be in control.
The law is important and has it's place...obviously we all want our children to have morals and values and the law is there to help us and protect us from harm. Obeying the law isn't God being mean and there to torture us...it is there to guide us and to protect us. But that is only part of the story. Grace is huge and I can't wait to implement that part with my son. The part where we aren't perfect, and don't need to be perfect. The part where we are loved unconditionally and have a Savior who we get our strength from. The part where life isn't ever going to be perfect but he have someone who is in control and whose story IS perfect and we are a part of his love and plan. The Lord helps us in our weak areas and helps us obey the law, and at the same time he showers us with grace.
Love it!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Grace & Obedience
Can we dialogue a little bit about teaching grace AND obedience? I feel like I am a baby when it comes to fully grasping the idea of grace, so I think just talking a little bit about this will help bring clarity to me. In the 2 examples the authors gave about how we can incorporate the message of grace, it seems to me that it is hard to get the message across that we can't be obedient on our own and that God will love us no matter what, but that we also expect them to follow certain expectations (like not disrupting family prayer). If we are telling them that "you can't love your brother like God is asking you to, so you need a rescuer to help you" and "you'll never to be able to do this on your own," but then also telling them that they need to be kind towards their brother, does this seem confusing? If they respond out of anger saying something like "well I don't want to believe in Him right now" how does discipline come into play? Does this make sense at all?
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Introductory Thoughts
I am really excited to go through the book. Elyse has some great insight amd honesty. One area that I found particularly intriguing was when she discussed the "Christian response" to Wesley's sin. I don't have a page # because I have the Kindle edition but she discusses how to respond by telling Wesley that he can't love his brother without Jesus. One of the hardest things for me to do when I am rebuking ny children is to turn them back to their need for Jesus as their Savior. Looking foward to more discussion! ~Amy Cox
How would YOU respond?
"Our Salvation (and our kids' as well) is by GRACE ALONE through FAITH ALONE in CHRIST ALONE. GRACE ALONE."
The example that sticks out to me from the Introduction is the story about the child that says, "Mom, I can't love my brother!" (Here it is, for those of you who don't have your books yet.)
"Jessica heard the terrifying scream emanating from the playroom. Frantically rushing out of the bathroom (Every mom knows what this is like!), she found her eldest son, Wesley (then four), seated atop his little brother pounding away. As she forcefully yanked Wesley off his brother, she pled with him, "Wesley, you must love your brother!"
"But he makes me so mad! I can't love him!" Wesley replied through angry tears.
How would YOU respond? How HAVE you responded in situations similar to this? Do you see this as an opportunity to share the gospel with your child?
Most of us have children too young to really be able to relate with this example, but it is coming soon!
I can pretty easily imagine myself responding with the law instead of the gospel (and as Elyse makes clear later in the book, ANYTHING that is not GOSPEL is LAW!) Something short and to the point like, "YOU HAVE to love your brother". Law. No grace, no gospel.
How amazing would it be to take advantage of this opportunity in our children's lives to gospel them and shower them in the same outrageous grace that has been gifted to us through Jesus!
The response Elyse gives on pg. 21 that models the gospel in this situation is amazing, but definitely not 2 year-old appropriate. The closest I think we get to this this with Owen is saying something like, "Let's pray together that Jesus would help you and change your heart so you can love your sister and obey your mommy and daddy."
What about YOU!? I want to hear what is sticking with you so far! Please comment away. I am learning so much already.
by GRACE ALONE,
~Adelle
The example that sticks out to me from the Introduction is the story about the child that says, "Mom, I can't love my brother!" (Here it is, for those of you who don't have your books yet.)
"Jessica heard the terrifying scream emanating from the playroom. Frantically rushing out of the bathroom (Every mom knows what this is like!), she found her eldest son, Wesley (then four), seated atop his little brother pounding away. As she forcefully yanked Wesley off his brother, she pled with him, "Wesley, you must love your brother!"
"But he makes me so mad! I can't love him!" Wesley replied through angry tears.
How would YOU respond? How HAVE you responded in situations similar to this? Do you see this as an opportunity to share the gospel with your child?
Most of us have children too young to really be able to relate with this example, but it is coming soon!
I can pretty easily imagine myself responding with the law instead of the gospel (and as Elyse makes clear later in the book, ANYTHING that is not GOSPEL is LAW!) Something short and to the point like, "YOU HAVE to love your brother". Law. No grace, no gospel.
How amazing would it be to take advantage of this opportunity in our children's lives to gospel them and shower them in the same outrageous grace that has been gifted to us through Jesus!
The response Elyse gives on pg. 21 that models the gospel in this situation is amazing, but definitely not 2 year-old appropriate. The closest I think we get to this this with Owen is saying something like, "Let's pray together that Jesus would help you and change your heart so you can love your sister and obey your mommy and daddy."
What about YOU!? I want to hear what is sticking with you so far! Please comment away. I am learning so much already.
by GRACE ALONE,
~Adelle
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Week One
This week we are reading the Foreword and Introduction - "Are You a Christian Parent?". I realize some of you may be half way through the book already... SLOW DOWN! We're going to take our time getting through this book through the summer, allowing us to dig deep and open our BIBLES as we read! Please share what God is teaching you on this site! I especially am excited to hear when God puts scriptures on your heart that are convicting and relate to parenting and this book, and your STORIES! We all are learning as we go EVERY DAY, and we have plenty of opportunities to share how things our going with our own children. Prayer requests are also ALWAYS welcome.
So ENJOY! I'm REALLY looking forward to digging in!
So ENJOY! I'm REALLY looking forward to digging in!
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